A lot of young men today are seeking advice on genuine manhood. It can be difficult in this modern day to find good, helpful guidance on being a man. It's especially hard to learn to be a man if a young man doesn't have a father to guide him.
Being a real man rarely comes naturally. Many aspects of manhood must be taught. The best way to learn is by example, of course - from a dad. When a dad isn't available then a young man must seek advice and guidance from a mentor.
A mentor can take the form of a scout leader, a pastor, a teacher, a martial arts instructor, or even a boss. This is what works for the young man who is fortunate enough to have a mentor during his youth.
Most young women aren't anywhere nearly as oblivious as they pretend to be: Guys who wind up in the friendzone weren't looking for some kind of one night stand. If they're going through the trouble to get to know the girl closely, they're hoping to get her to like him enough to consider being a steady boyfriend. Who the hell befriends someone for months, if not years on end, for the hope of one session of sex?
And that's considering that these girls really don't suspect that the guy is interested in her which is usually bullsh*t. Girls like this are pretty sure the guy is interested and that's why he is so supportive and giving of his time and energy to her. Why he'll selflessly do all kinds of favors and listen to all her drunken stories and pretty much be the perfect companion.
What pisses these girls off about the friendzone is when the term comes up, it's when the guy realizes that their relationship isn't going to lead to something deeper and the gravy train stops. Because he's not going to just keep giving freely for no reason. Friendship is a two-way street where both sides support each other. Not just one side which gives and gives like a happy servant.
The reason these girls get mad isn't because he hasn't been thinking of her as a friend all this time. It's because he's only going to think of her as a friend for now on. A girl who keeps a boy who wishes to be a boyfriend in the friendzone is a user. It's that simple. Don't permit yourself to be used in such a manner. It's fine to be friends with a woman if you don't treat her any better than you would your male friends and you don't harbor any more ambitions of bedding her than you do of them. Otherwise, you're much better off, and much more likely to get somewhere with her too, by flat-out refusing to be relegated to orbit.
...Just be friendly, civil, and totally unresponsive to her overtures.
Learn: tango, waltz, swing, rumba, cha-cha
"Quite the ideal world; I lead, she makes it all beautiful."..."Learn to dance and you will have eliminated most of the competition. You will also be able to develop a level of physical intimacy immediately, and it can all be done without conversation. The only line you need is asking for a dance."...Assassination Tango with Robert Duvall is a great movie. More...
If you ever find yourself wanting to give up on something, try answering this question: "will I achieve the same results from quitting?" If the answer is no, keep going. You will succeed, much sooner than you think.
I wanted to add something to the letter from the recent college graduate. I am a current college student with no debt.
Here are some of the things I do:
Community College: I started with Community College, as most universities will usually accept 60-90 transfer units from accredited community colleges. At the CC level not only is it cheaper but they also have things like fee waivers and work programs to help pay for it. My CC even offers daycare/preschool for the students who have children run by the Early Childhood Education program.
Choosing a University Wisely: My Professor told me that in my field of study, unless you graduate from MIT, it really doesn't matter where you graduate from. So I picked a university in a less populated state with tuition significantly cheaper than my home state. It has an awesome Engineering department and smaller class sizes, which is great. Hint: It is in the Redoubt.
Work: I always have some kind of part-time job. I also fix computers, tutor students, and create computer programs for people. I cleaned stalls and exercised horses to pay for my freshman year of college.
Scholarships and Grants: This is a huge category that people seem to ignore, for some reason. If you are willing to work hard, keep your GPA above 3.0, and write a few essays, a lot of organizations give scholarships to students in need. Also a lot of universities offer transfer scholarships for students coming in with a GPA above 3.8; I have seen some with amounts as high as $10,000.
GPA: I have a 4.0 GPA. This has opened a lot of doors for me, and it has also saved me a ton of money. Work hard, get good test scores, and test out of every class you can.
Good Luck! Source
You don't always have to "be nice". Remember this: "BEING NICE IS FOR FITTING IN WITH A SOCIAL GROUP." Often, being "nice" is for fitting in with a social group by claiming low status.
If you want more advice on being a man, please peruse our additional collection of manhood advice.